I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
