This is not my ceiling
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
