Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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