Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
