i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
