K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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