look no pants
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
