i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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