So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
