We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize