i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
