The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
