Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize