Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
No subtext here. People are naked.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
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She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
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I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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