sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
