Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
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I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
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He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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