In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
