Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
