Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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