Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
