But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize