I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
