You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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