Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
no, he came in my armpit
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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