Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
