how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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