none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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