I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
