i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
