Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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