I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
