You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
