Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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