Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
