Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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