I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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