My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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