Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
