Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Less talking, more tequila
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
