is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize