was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
