my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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