Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i was born a porn star she said
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
