And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
