Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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