I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
