I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
