yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
