I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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