You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
