Your mouth is God's brothel.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
