id be glad to
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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