Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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