i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
