Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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