i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Randomize
