I just cut my nipple shaving
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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