I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
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sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
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He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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