he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
