My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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