names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
