i always forget guys have bellybuttons
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
